Fear: Do You Allow it to Cripple You or Do You Move Forward?

Summary

In this episode of Val's Corner, Valerie Bropleh delves into the theme of fear and how it has impacted her life recently. She candidly shares her battle with fear, particularly in situations where she steps out of her comfort zone, such as teaching. Valerie discusses how fear has manifested as anxiety and physical symptoms, but also how her faith and a key scripture, Isaiah 41:10, have helped her confront and work through her fears. She emphasizes the importance of believing in what you're praying for, and how being courageous, rather than fearless, can empower you to face and overcome fears.

Highlights

• Valerie shares her personal struggle with fear and anxiety, highlighting her journey of teaching despite immense fear. 😰
• Through scripture, specifically Isaiah 41:10, Valerie finds solace and strength to face her fears. 📜
• Valerie's discussion on the difference between being fearless and courageous provides an empowering perspective on tackling challenges. 💡
• The podcast delves into how faith can be a powerful tool for confronting fear and finding peace. ✨
• During moments of overwhelming fear, Valerie turns to worship and prayer, emphasizing that belief in one's prayers is crucial. 🎶

Key Takeaways

• Fear can be crippling, but acknowledging it is the first step to overcoming it. 💪
• Turning to faith and scripture can provide strength in times of fear. 📖
• The difference between being fearless and courageous is significant – it's about doing things despite fear. 🤸‍♀️
• Facing fears head-on, even if you aren't fearless, can lead to personal growth and freedom. 🚀
• Prayer and belief must go hand in hand to push through the toughest times. 🙏

Overview

Valerie Bropleh uses her platform to explore the deeply relatable feeling of fear and how it often infiltrates our lives. This episode is both an intimate diary of her personal bouts with this emotion and a broader discussion on how to tackle it head-on. Valerie speaks to listeners from a place of vulnerability, sharing her own experiences as someone who, despite discomfort, is learning to move forward with faith over fear.

Listeners are taken on a journey through Valerie's recent challenges, including an anxiety-inducing teaching experience. She reflects on moments when fear seemed to suffocate her, and how immersing herself in prayer and scripture, specifically Isaiah 41:10, has fortified her spirit. Valerie's recounting of her experiences underscores a central theme of faith as a foundation to combat fear.

Throughout the episode, Valerie underscores the power of courage, explaining it as acting in spite of fear rather than in its absence. Her stories of near-panic and subsequent recovery highlight how crucial it is to believe in the power of positive declarations and divine support. Through her message, Valerie encourages listeners to cultivate courage, thereby transforming their fear into catalysts for growth.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction In the 'Introduction' chapter of Val's Corner, host Valerie Bropp welcomes her audience back after a two-week break. She teases intriguing personal challenges during her time away and introduces the upcoming theme of the episode, which is centered around the concept and experience of fear.
• 00:30 - 02:00: Fear and Anxiety In the chapter titled "Fear and Anxiety," the author discusses their personal experience with fear. They reflect on how fear has become a frequent experience for them, describing it almost like a spirit that clings to them. The author recounts taking a two-week break due to this overwhelming fear, which was intensified by the responsibility of teaching at their church for a young adults group. The chapter explores the author's process of understanding and dealing with fear in a setting that required them to step up and teach others.
• 02:00 - 03:30: Teaching Experience The chapter titled 'Teaching Experience' describes the author's intense anxiety and nervousness during their week of teaching. The author likens the experience to having their heart in their throat and feeling breathless due to the overwhelming pressure and being too much in their own head. Despite these challenges, they persevered through the ordeal.
• 03:30 - 06:00: Facing Fear The chapter 'Facing Fear' begins with a recounting of an overwhelming feeling likened to drowning, where every attempt to reach for air is met with resistance. The narrator speaks of the anxiety surrounding the prospect of teaching in front of an audience and the fear of not being well-received or saying the wrong things. This theme of confronting personal fears and self-doubt is woven throughout, exemplified by experiences of being publicly challenged and called out, notably in the context of having a podcast.
• 06:00 - 12:00: Medical Anxiety The chapter titled 'Medical Anxiety' focuses on the speaker's comfort with recording their thoughts without the immediate presence of an audience. They express feeling safe and at ease when it's just them, their faith, their microphone, and their producer in the room. The absence of direct feedback from an audience, such as not seeing reactions or people's responses in real-time, contributes to this comfort level. The speaker contrasts this with the anxiety that may come from speaking in front of others and the pressure of witnessing the audience's reactions.
• 12:00 - 17:30: Spiritual Reflection The chapter titled 'Spiritual Reflection' delves into the speaker's anxiety and discomfort with public speaking, despite being perceived as outgoing. The speaker expresses fear about the audience's reaction and perception, worrying about whether they will understand, appreciate, or like the presentation. There is an emphasis on the visible feedback from the audience, which exacerbates the speaker's nervousness and fear of not being well-received.
• 17:30 - 21:30: Courage and Spiritual Growth The speaker discusses the experience of fear, particularly when it comes to teaching or public speaking. Over a stressful weekend, the speaker had prepared a topic but ultimately ended up teaching about fear itself, as they were personally experiencing it at the time.
• 21:30 - 25:00: Closing Thoughts In the final chapter 'Closing Thoughts', the narrator reflects on overcoming nervousness and fear, sharing a personal experience of pushing through despite doubts. They express a sense of reliance on divine intervention, attributing their eventual success to a higher power. Additionally, the narrator mentions the practice of creating a vision board and receiving a guiding scripture each year, hinting at a spiritual framework that guides their actions and reflections.

Fear: Do You Allow it to Cripple You or Do You Move Forward? Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of Val's Corner. I am your host Valerie Bropp and you're having corner conversations with Val. So, welcome back guys to another episode. I know I took two weeks off, but there was a reason for that. I was getting whooped. Buddy enemy don't don't don't. But that will go into today's topic. We'll be talking about fear and
• 00:30 - 01:00 what that means and my situation. What happens to fear? Because I've come to find myself being very fe fearful a lot. And the spirit of fear seems to attach itself to me. And one of the reasons why I took two weeks off was because I had to teach. So, at my church, uh, for our young adults, we do, well, we're doing right now where, um, we're being tasked to teach. I had
• 01:00 - 01:30 to find a word for I'm like, what the word? But yes, and it was my week to teach and I was shaking in my boots. I won't lie. Like, I felt like I was going to die of how much anxiety I was feeling. Felt like my heart was in my throat. I couldn't breathe. Speaking of can't breathe, we'll get into that as well. But yeah, I was faced with so much I don't want to say opposition, but like I was so in my head that week. It was
• 01:30 - 02:00 crazy. It felt like it felt like I was dr like I was drowning and every time I try to reach up to get for air and something would hit me down if that makes sense. So um yeah, so I was very nervous about that. Um, just the fact of teaching in front of people and maybe them not being receptive or me not saying the right words cuz things like that. I won't lie. Yes, I've been called out many times like you have a podcast with my podcast. I won't lie. I
• 02:00 - 02:30 feel comfortable. I feel safe because it is just me, God, my mic, and my producer. Those are it. And nobody's watching me. I don't have to see people reaction if they receive this, if they liked it or not. It's I put the video out there and that's it. That's it. Like I don't have to watch people watching and things like that. So I feel comfortable being here compared to speaking out to other people cuz people
• 02:30 - 03:00 can either like it, you can see people reaction, you can see their faces and things like that and that makes me nervous and like like you're very outgoing. There's a difference between outgoing public speaking. Okay, people. I feel like because public speaking I I hate it. I won't lie. I truly do. And it makes me scared just for the whole perception of like what people are going to re if they're going to receive or not. That whole notion of what if they don't get it? What if they're not excited? What if they don't like it? And I can see on people faces that that part
• 03:00 - 03:30 of public speaker being brings fear. So when it came to teaching and stuff like that, that weekend was stressful. even up to the day because at one point I thought I had I had a topic I thought I was going to teach about and then it ended up being something I was actually going through and it was like bro what is this? So, I ended up teaching about fear because I was in a state of fear that Monday, that whole weekend. And but
• 03:30 - 04:00 I I will say I pushed through it. As nervous as I was, I pushed through and I still thought the lesson. And I didn't think it was going to be good, but God ended up doing what he had to do. So, yes. So, for fear, um, let's start from the beginning. So this year, every year that I've sort of done like a vision board or whatever it was, God gives me a scripture for that year. And something I guess to some a
• 04:00 - 04:30 scripture that for me to use throughout the whole year. And when I got the scripture, at first I'm like, I I mean, yeah, you hear the scripture. Okay. I don't know how it's going to like apply to my life right now, but okay. And it was Isaiah 41:10. Um, it's about speaking about fear. God can do all things. And that's what Let me read. Hold on. Let me read the actual passage. Um, Isaiah 4:10.
• 04:30 - 05:00 Don't panic. I am with you. And this is the New King James Version. Um, I am with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I will give you strength. I will help you. I'll hold you steady. Keep on a keep a firm grip on you. That was the version I used for my teaching. But let me read you the um the version I was I um I put on my vision board actually. All right. Um Isaiah 41:10, New Living Transition. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid for I am with you. Don't
• 05:00 - 05:30 be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. So when I got that, I honestly still I literally still have to post this. I and I was on my drive thinking about this episode and it I had a flashback brought back to me. I think that was about from God when for when I um I got the scripture. So I had it was early in the morning. It was one of those times I woke up early um and I did my go my Jesus time, my God time, whatever you want to call it. And I had just left the presence and I was on my
• 05:30 - 06:00 way to work. And before I was to walk out my door, mind you, I not that the pres I left that intimate time I had with God. I was like, "Okay, I I prayed, I read, I journal, I did what I had to do, worship, all of that within that time." So, I was like I was about to close my Bible and I was about to walk, you know, I had to go to work. And before I before I could close my Bible, um I got this verse in my head and it was Isaiah 41:10. And I'm like, well, I wasn't really like I I I didn't have
• 06:00 - 06:30 time, I would say, to like dive into it and truly study what the scripture meant, but I'm like, why he wait till the end to give this to me? Like, I'm on my way out the door, God. Like, what are you doing? So, when I got the scripture, I just I literally wrote it on a post note and put it on my um my computer at my uh my my house on the desk, and it's still on that same postit on my computer screen that I wrote that morning on my way out. And when I finally had time to study it and realize why it was for my vision for this year, I still didn't understand in that time why God gave me
• 06:30 - 07:00 that scripture for the year. Maybe in the moment I was feeling fearful, but he gave it to me because he knew at a certain point in this season I was going to need to rely on that scripture and repeat it constantly and ended up really helping me. I won't lie, it really did. I have on my vision board. I have on the posters and now so every time I look up, it's like on my wall. I can I can um look at it and rely on it. And during that week I had to teach. I ain't going to lie. I read that so many times until it stuck until I
• 07:00 - 07:30 actually really believed it because many times um you can read a scripture but it wouldn't it don't hit you until you actually believe it. So I would say that whole week I ain't going to I feel like I was in a state of panic. I'm not going to lie. Um, so and it felt like my chest and I just I just couldn't bring I was in a state of fear of just how everyone was going to react, how things were going to go and this and that. And when I would look at that scripture, I was like, "Okay, I get it. I know why God gave it to me. It
• 07:30 - 08:00 was for this moment and for the rest of my rest of this year, probably rest of my life." Um, but he knew this time I would be struggling with the spirit of fear that would be attacking me so much that I would need to look back on that scripture and be reminded that he is going to help me. He's going to give me strength and through that whole cuz this lasted a whole week. Um, I also have another topic on what happened that week. But stay tuned for the following the following week episode. But yeah, so I won't like I won't lie to you like I
• 08:00 - 08:30 was saying it. I was trying to believe it, but I I didn't it fully didn't take effect yet. If that makes sense. Like I was looking at it. I was praying, but I didn't feel free or anything like that until last week when I finally declared it cuz I was saying it but I didn't I don't think in that moment that I truly believe it. So the tightness of my chest where I felt like I couldn't breathe and things like it didn't leave my body
• 08:30 - 09:00 until I actually declared this to be true like I believed it in my heart. It wasn't just something I was saying anymore. It was like I need to be free and I need to let the spirit go. So I'm going to declare this thing. I'm going to declare that God will give me the strength to u move through. Fear will not have a say in my life. So, and when it comes to fear, it's one of the um things in the Bible that God tells us, "Do not fear." It's written so many times. And before I thought, I was looking back on notes. I see something where I can get inspiration from. And I
• 09:00 - 09:30 u typed in up and I had all these notes from from Bible studies, sermons, other teachings about fear. And there's a reason why God the Bible talks about fear so much because as humans it's something we are going to feel a lot like every day. So it tells us to rem renew our mind daily and I also remind ourselves do not fear what it cuz I when it comes to fear it's not always just one thing in this last season or u period or whatever it was it was the fear of teaching. For me there's been
• 09:30 - 10:00 fear of rejection, fear of being accepted, fear of not being loved. I've have there's so many different fears that I've somehow attached myself to like that spirit that sometimes it is crippling and the this couple last couple weeks it was crippling for me where I felt like I couldn't move I couldn't breathe I couldn't eat I couldn't think properly until this let go of me it literally felt like a grip on me um and it was actually scary like
• 10:00 - 10:30 I won't lie like I was truly scared in that moment um but I just when I finally declare these things, it like felt like a like a like a weight like left my body and it was actually on Saturday. I remember I came for my doctor's appointment, didn't get the news I was hoping for and I was really like I was freaking out in that moment like I went to my doctors and they were telling me you might have this, this, this, and this and that because I didn't give a history while I was in the hospital. But yes, so last week I couldn't breathe. I
• 10:30 - 11:00 literally I I really was having an anxiety attack. Um it was a Sunday before the Monday I was supposed to teach and I literally felt this pressure like something was sitting on my chest. Felt like someone was sitting on my chest but I still couldn't breathe like walking distance. I was huffing and puffing. I felt very out of shape. That's what I felt. Like am I out of shape or is that anxiety? And now that I think about it, it wasn't anxiety. It's like a happy Sunday mid worship. Mind you, I was in the middle of worship but I pushed through. I'm like I I lit I
• 11:00 - 11:30 felt it coming. I'm like what what is this? I'm going to keep worshiping. I'm going to keep worshiping. So I kept worshiping. But when worship was over and I was finally able to sit, that's when it intensified. It was like I I literally cannot breathe. I'm okay. I know this is anxiety cuz I have the teacher. I'm still shaking my boots. Blah blah blah. So I just I I was like, you know, it's anxiety. I I should be fine on Monday. Monday, same thing. I was like, why type in mind you why type in my notes to teach? I was still freaking out. I was literally shaking. And I was like, hopefully this goes
• 11:30 - 12:00 away. This goes away after I'm done teaching. Well, I was mid teaching. Still same thing. So I said, you know what? It's going to be gone. Situation happened Monday night where I was like, I I cannot breathe, God. Like my head hurts. My chest hurts. I can't breathe. So the following day, I took I took a day off from work. I'm like, you know what? It's anxiety. So I'm just going to de-stress. I'm going to breathe. I'm going to pray. And I'm going to do all my favorite things so I can be fine again. Took the day off. I was still feeling this unwareness, this sense of anxiety where I still couldn't breathe.
• 12:00 - 12:30 I'm like, I'm not anxious. I just did everything to d-stress. Why is this still why is this feeling still here on Wednesday when I went to work and I ke I felt like I think it got worse Wednesday night. I want like Wednesday morning all throughout the day. I think I feel like honestly it got worse where I was like I'm going to die. I felt like I was going to I rebuked that word. But in that moment it felt like I was going to be I was going to die. I was like, "Am I being dramatic, God? Are you calling me?" I reboot that again. I truly do. But I was like, "I can't breathe." I was
• 12:30 - 13:00 trying to work and things. I told my co-workers like, "I cannot breathe right now." Like, it feels like something sitting on my chest. Barely got work done. On my way to Bible study, it got like it it felt like I really was like I had to huff and puff to get air. And on my drive there, I I remember I I pulled over, stopped for a little bit to catch my breath. And then before I could get to church, I was like, "You know what? I typed in the nearest ER and I admitted myself like this cannot be anxiety anymore. Like I literally feel like I cannot breathe and I don't know why I'm
• 13:00 - 13:30 anxious or whatever it is. So I checked myself in, went to the ER, all of that. Everything came back u negative. I didn't have any major thing wrong with me. Thank God. But at the same time, I was still in a sense of panic cuz I'm like, what is wrong with me? If they did all these tests, why is why am I still feeling this way? Why am I still feeling like this? And I won't lie, it was anxietyinduced term medical. Granted, me going to the ER did sparked me to actually want to take care of my health. It helped me to
• 13:30 - 14:00 use wisdom because I I be having all these things wrong with me, but because I was again fear. I was so afraid of the doctors and what they were going to say that I never went to the hospital. I like my knee will be cracking, my back hurting, but I was like I was so I was so afraid of that diagnosis, but rather there's there's a song God um no matter what the doctor said, God has the final say. Is that Jehovah? I think that's Jehovah. Um by elevation worship and I didn't allow God to have the final say. So in me not going to the hospital and getting checked up and things like that,
• 14:00 - 14:30 I was giving the enemy this power. So because I was so afraid of going to the hospital and getting the results and things like that, I let that fear me. I allow him to use it against me to keep me crumble and um crumple. No, crippled. See, vow still not perfect. Okay. But yes, so it's like he still used that to against me. So it's like every time I feel like I learn u I don't know who else sounds like every time I feel like I learn the the enemy tactic he comes with a new one a
• 14:30 - 15:00 new way to get me and most of the time one way the enemy can slow me down one of the ways that he come is through my health cuz whenever I get sick whenever I get knocked down I won't lie I stay down for a minute like I'm not me I'm not myself I vow because like I just feel like I can't do anything when I'm sick and it's like it's always on the 10. So that's one way he he uses to get to me and I know that. But because I'm so afraid of the doctor's answer and not
• 15:00 - 15:30 what God has to say, I never went to get checked and I never went to the doctors. I didn't like it cuz I'm like you go to the hospital, you go to your doctors, they're going to give you I feel like they're always having something negative to say. I just I don't know. But yeah, moving for I think I just want a rant. But moving forward, um, yeah, so after the doctor's after my doctor's visit, cuz I went to the ER Wednesday, came back, I was healthy in a sense, but I still couldn't breathe. Thursday, took the day off. It also to just relax. I pretty
• 15:30 - 16:00 much slept the whole day. I won't lie to you. And then Friday, I started feeling a little better, but I still couldn't. It felt like I was really out of shape. Like every walking little steps, I still couldn't breathe. So I'm like, what is this? So, I made a doctor's appointment, but the whole time I still I felt a little better, but I wasn't fully there. And it's like in my in my head and subconsciously I was thinking the worst. I'm like, I have to be dying. Granted, I didn't find anything, but something wrong. I have probably have a you know, suit whatever it is. I don't know
• 16:00 - 16:30 something. I watch Grey's Anatomy doctor show, but I have something wrong with me and I'm mad. I can't find it. So, I was thinking the worst. So I was in a constant state of panic of what can happen to me and what what has been happening through me throughout the previous week. So that I think I was just anxious the whole time and I scared myself into going to the hospital. I'm not going to lie and if I'm being honest looking back. So yes, I had my doctor's appointment. I heard the it could be you this could be wrong with you. You can have this. You could have this. You
• 16:30 - 17:00 could have this and that. And after I left I sat in my car and I cried and I text like I'm freaking out. like I'm truly freaking out. I don't know what's wrong with me. I need help. But after I left my car, I went in my room. I said, you know what? I'm changing the narrative. I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to believe it cuz I uh what's it crazy? The son Jehovah came on. And it's like no matter what um the doctors may say, God has the final say. Once I heard that and I was like, okay, I'm starting to believe it. I had a go. One thing I love to do, I love to
• 17:00 - 17:30 worship and praise. That's how I get my groove on. So once the song started playing, it hit it hit my spirit. I was like, "Oo, it didn't hit my flesh, it hit my spirit." So I just I got it's like I got a jolt of Jesus and I got like I started praying. I started declaring like I I won't have the sickness. I won't have if even what even if I do if it's in God's will that I have some type of second he's going to get me through this because God's will is always better than my will. So it's like whatever it is, I'm not going to believe it to take me down. I won't let
• 17:30 - 18:00 it have the final say. God's gonna heal me. God's gonna do it. He didn't bring me here for no reason. He is gonna do this thing. He's gonna get me through it. He's gonna heal me. I'm gonna be made whole again. And I started believing the things. I like, "God, no more. No more. I need this fear to get away from me. I needed to be like things would break off. Whatever prayer I was praying, I was I was praying. And I kid you not, as God is my witness, God strike me if I'm lying, but please don't." But what's it called? I
• 18:00 - 18:30 felt free after that and it met metaphorably speaking that's the word thing I felt like something broke off and I could breathe again. So that's why I believe I was in a state of anxiety the whole time and I went to the doctors. Granted it did help me get checked and now I actually need to find out what's really wrong with me. uh if it is medical or if I need to be on some type of medication because again
• 18:30 - 19:00 we have to use wisdom when it comes to our health. Yes, God can heal us but he also gives us doctors to heal us as well. So I finally met the doctor's appointment and things like that to really figure out what is wrong with me like if I need to be on medication, if I need to be healthier, eat less chocolate, maybe a doctor need to tell me not to do that. But still, so it's like I literally felt free in that moment because not anymore. Um because I wasn't letting it my circumstances decide how I was going to move forward. I declared that I
• 19:00 - 19:30 was going to be healed and free and that fear that spirit left my body because not only was I just saying a scripture, I was believing the scripture. I was believing Isaiah 41:10 that God is going to strengthen me. He is going to uphold me in his right hand. He's going to be there with me through this. He's going to take these things off of me. I wasn't just saying it anymore. I was believing it. So believing it. It gave me that it let the fear go because I wasn't letting it dictate how I was going to move
• 19:30 - 20:00 anymore. If that makes sense. And I was watching this podcast. Um it's uh her name is Ali Shinagi and she does coffee. I think it's coffee and devote or coffee and Jesus, something like that where she goes and just do these Bible studies and I was watching one event and it was talking about fear versus fearless. Um I think I got I got a note from it um where she was talking about what it means to be fear what it means to be fearless and what it means to be courage
• 20:00 - 20:30 courageous because fearless is the absence of fear. Courageous let me read the definition. Being courageous is the acknowledgement of fear and doing it anyway. So in that moment I felt courageous. I I won't say I was fearless cuz there's always fear in my life. I'm fearful any and everything. Fearful of drowning. Fearful I'm going to like I even driving like I I get the worst thoughts I have to rebuke every single time. Like I'm always thinking I'm about to get I pred I not predict like think of the worst possible thing that could happen to me
• 20:30 - 21:00 while driving different car accidents. D. Speaking of which, I during that whole week I got into I was in almost two accident. Almost two accidents. So also like I was just freaking out that whole week. Like I'm like what is happening here? I almost feel like I'm about to get taken out. Wipe off the off the board. Like I just that's where all the fear anxiety was also coming from. I was like I was like God what is happening right now? So I finally started believing it and I um in that moment I was I became courageous because there were I I knew I
• 21:00 - 21:30 was still I knew there was still fear of what the what could be wrong with me whatever it is blah blah blah but I prayed through it in spite of how I was feeling right now in spite of what may be going on in spite of what was said this and this and that I was starting to believe that I was going to be healed this was going to let go these things are not dictating. So the moment I believed it and it wasn't things I was saying, that's when I became free or yeah, I felt lighter. The
• 21:30 - 22:00 the best word to say, I felt so much lighter. I went I literally went like this. I can breathe. And I went down my stairs and up again like, "Oh my god, okay, we're good." And then the sudden happened and I felt like I could I could worship again cuz I felt before that I feel like I couldn't worship without having to sit down and breathe. So I felt good. So um but when she was talking about um fear, she's like a lot of there are so many people in the Bible who experienced fear, but it did it
• 22:00 - 22:30 anyway. Esther, Paul, Paul, Peter, there's I could go the list is gone if you read the Bible, but there but it's what they did when they were fearful. They didn't let the fear them instead and not and allow God to use them. They asked for God to help them when they were fearful. They ask God to give them wisdom on how to move forward. So for me in this season, I know why God gave me that uh scripture because there are a lot of things that's going to come up in my life that instead of letting the spirit of fear me, I could
• 22:30 - 23:00 just handle it head on. Do it anyway even if I am fear. So it's like there's a reason he tells us not to be fearful, not to be do not fear. Fear not. This is that all in the scripture. It's a reason why um there's so many sermons um podcasts and things like that. We are going to be fearful in my life. There's so many things I have been afraid of and so many things I've been afraid of doing and so many things I feel like I could have been further or
• 23:00 - 23:30 whatever it is. But because I allow my the fear to me, I stay stagnant. I stayed in one place like I think I did a couple episode where it's like I was afraid of pain. I know. Yes. But I the reason why I was afraid of pain just I because I felt like in my life I gone through so much pain that I didn't want to go through another whereas like I didn't I don't handle pain being crushed well. I'll say that I don't handle pain well because of how so much I had to go
• 23:30 - 24:00 through in my life and of pain and tears and this. So I don't I I just I didn't like it. But when there's pain something good has to happen. So, I had to keep reminding myself like there's a reason why I'm being attacked. There's a reason why I'm being in opposition. It just means something greater has happened. I ain't going to lie. Sometimes I I tell God, I'm like, why does it like like can't we just not go through pain for you to teach me a lesson or for me to get to greater? But it has to happen cuz
• 24:00 - 24:30 in order for us to be saved, speaking of this is Easter week, Jesus literally had to die on the cross and and get beaten. like he went through the ultimate pain just to say save us from pain. So it's like it's inevitable inevitable they mean these words English is not my language but it's inevitable for us to feel pain if he experienced the ultimate pain which was death being beaten I heard gruesome um description of like his his ri you can see this intestine
• 24:30 - 25:00 this is that having a like a crown of thorns on his head carrying a heavy cross. So why is it that and he and he and he faced it head on. He faced it head on and literally died just so we could be saved and experienced grace, experience God's love and things like that. So it's like it's and why am I so out here letting fear me? So it's like it's not saying I'm going to always be fearless. No, let's be honest. It's it's it's not
• 25:00 - 25:30 possible. Sometimes we're going to fear we're going to face some type of fear. But in that moment, I need to be courageous and do it and face it head on and not allow it to keep me crippled, keep me head beaten down, keep me stuck, keep me stagnant. But getting up and facing said fear is my reminder for this season. And I'm not there's going to be a lot of things I need to stop saying I'm not going to lie cuz I don't lie on this podcast. I don't know why I keep saying that. That's the only place I
• 25:30 - 26:00 feel can be the most I'm always the most honest. But there's going to be obstacles obstacles in my life that's going to cause me to be fearful. But it's what I do within that. And there's a I think there's a scripture with the when David was um crying out to God. Yes, it's Psalms 34:4. I prayed to the Lord and he and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Um, and that was was when Dave was I think it's one of the times he was on a run, but he was crying out to God and like of course he's he was afraid
• 26:00 - 26:30 for his life, but he cried out and he said God answered him. He freed me from all my fears. And in that moment when I was praying, when I was declaring things, I was worshiping. I really believe God answered me because I was crying out for help. I wasn't allowing my situation to keep me stuck. I was I was I was making I'm making myself believe. I was finally believing it. So God's like, "I'm going to answer you now because you you believe I can do this for you." And he freed me from that fear and I was able to breathe again. I was
• 26:30 - 27:00 able to let it go. So I don't know why some reason I allow fear to me when God has got me through so much and he's answered me so many different prayers and things like that. So it's like in this new season that I'm walking in, there are things I'm still afraid of. Afraid of rejection and things like that. So, like that's all things God is working on me through me uh with and getting me to a place where I can be courageous again cuz I don't I I won't be I won't say I'm
• 27:00 - 27:30 ever be fearless. I don't think that's something realistic and and as humans, but being courageous is something we could be. It's something I can strive for. Um and then there's another command in Joshua 1:9. This is my command. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. There's so many reminders in the Bible that it tells us not to fear that God is always with us no matter what season is. And I
• 27:30 - 28:00 need to be reminded of that every day. So from now on, I'm going look at my vision board and not be not to look at it in a sense of where what I'm believing God to do, but like I'm believing God to heal me to be ready for those things. So cuz as a vision are things you want and believe you need and you're asking God to give you. But in order to receive those things, but in order for God to give me those things, I need to be in a position to be ready. So when I look at it, I was see as motivation to keep going forward and
• 28:00 - 28:30 better myself and facing things head on with him so I can be ready for those things cuz God not going to give me those things on my vision board if I'm not ready mentally, spiritually, or even physically. We going to work on this. We going to work on that part. But still, so it's like I need to remind myself of these things and God is going to help me through this. He I can't do anything without him realistically. And that is so true cuz I don't know what I think I was saying on my drive here or something. It was like whenever I'm I'm doing something
• 28:30 - 29:00 and God is not in it, it never goes right. My it feel like I'm sink it feels like I'm sinking when God is not part of something. when God is not in my life, when I'm not actively seek seeking him, it feels like I'm sinking. So, it's like, but the minute I have him in it, the minute that I he's surrounding me, he's like the Holy Spirit is in me, I don't sink. I may fall, but I won't sink or I won't drown. So, it's like I need to keep
• 29:00 - 29:30 reminding myself like God is not going to like there are some things he allow like certain pains to get us somewhere, but he's not going to let you be there forever. And yeah, I hope this really motivates you. I'm still working on it. I'm still a work in progress. Like, I won't lie. Um, but it's a journey that I I'm grateful to have God with cuz that these last couple of weeks while I was away, I was really in a state of panic and where I really I let fear keep me down.
• 29:30 - 30:00 And I want to this is not I never cry this podcast. I'm not going to right now. But like it really felt like I was drowning with this fear cuz um I was in the pocket. She's like fear is a spirit and it's a spirit we can drive out with prayer and praise. So it's like I allowed this spirit this fear the spirit to keep me bound and corporal for for days on end. And it's like I wasn't believing that God was going to do this things. God was
• 30:00 - 30:30 going to free me from these things. But the minute I started believing that God showed up. So, it's like he was always with me, but he just needed me to believe it. And it's that was something beautiful. And that was a very impactful impactful moment for me where I literally was just letting things go and I felt things coming off because I was finally believing the things I was praying. It's not like I wasn't believing it before, but it's like even like this beginning of this year when I I felt like I was on a roll
• 30:30 - 31:00 with the podcast. It's like I was doing what I was supposed to do and I was I was in my word like never before. See, this is whenever we declare things, the enemy is literally always listening. Boo boom, man. But it's like I literally this was a season where I wanted to I was diving in more to get to know God's love and things like that. But the minute I got knocked down, I sort of gave up. Whereas like it's not like I didn't believe God to do it, but I didn't believe he could do it for me or he could free me from these things. But within my knock knock down seasons, I
• 31:00 - 31:30 want to be able to push through it and not stay down, if that makes sense. Like, I don't want to be crippled by fears or anything that I'm struggling with. I don't want to be held down by it, but I want to be standing up and fighting through it, if that makes sense. So, it's like cuz I know there's so much I have to work on in this season of my life. And I just I feel it, but it's like I don't want to be I don't want to stay down anymore because
• 31:30 - 32:00 the enemy is always going to come and attack me. Like it's like it's crazy like how he going to how he going to attack me when I'm on a roll. like I really felt like I was doing anything and then it's like and then he came he's like oh he and I felt so defeated and I felt so defeated like it just the thoughts and it just I felt down for so long and I just I kept beating myself like why did you listen to him blah blah blah but I had to remember
• 32:00 - 32:30 that I could only stay down for so long like I had to get back up eventually and it was like I but in this next step of my life. It's like I want to get I want to keep going instead of I don't want to be knocked down like I want to get pushed a little tab little you know but I don't want to fall down so flat on my face that I don't know what else to do like I feel defeated in that moment I don't want that to happen anymore and in that when I was praying that prayer and
• 32:30 - 33:00 as my prayer has changed and things that I'm believing for and instead of like asking God for certain things no like I'm ask I'm I'm believing God's going to do these things like God I am going to be healed. I am going to be set free. I am going to be strong. I am confident. I am like these things are my prayer with you. So it's like my prayer has shifted instead of me just asking. No, I'm believing God is going to do it already. So it's like my prayer shift within that moment. It felt and it was very empowerful for me. I really I felt
• 33:00 - 33:30 different if that makes sense because I wasn't allowing fear to keep me down anymore. I was courageous. I felt courageous in that moment. It felt like I wanted to scream, but in a positive screen, like just let everything go. Um, but yeah, it's also a reminder that you're gonna you're gonna get hit with fear and things like that. It's bound to happen. Is our human nature. There's so many people in the Bible that face that, but it's what we do within that season. So, don't be discouraged if you are fearful of anything right now. Just
• 33:30 - 34:00 remember it is a spirit and we can bind spirit. We can ask spirit to leave. Spirits can leave our body. So just just keep that as a reminder. I'm reminding myself of that as well. Yeah. Hope this motivates you. I hope it blesses you. Remember to lean on God. Remember God is always there with you. He loves us. He's going to protect us. He's going to free the for the things. You just got to cry out to him and also believe that what we're saying. Um I love you guys. I'm not going to promise. I'm going to be consistent
• 34:00 - 34:30 cuz I can't seem to do that anymore. Okay? But I will try my very best to try to get episodes out there and just be more on top of this podcast cuz I really do love it. Love this. I feel this is more this is when I feel the most comfortable and most safe. Like it's just feel like a I always say this feels like a diary but I'm talking and people are actually reading my diary or listening to it. So um I'll see you guys next week. And please don't forget to like, comment, share, subscribe, do the
• 34:30 - 35:00 whole nine. Shout out to my amazing producer, Vanessa Films. If you need her for podcast, needs, pictures, whatever you need, she's very talented. It's scary how talent she is. She truly is amazing. Hit her up. Also, if you need a home church, um, look up Hope Worship Center, a place truly for everyone. And I'll see you guys in the next episode. Stay blessed. Bye.